Single Serving Friends

“Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They’re single-serving friends.” -Fight Club

The Travel Life

My job as a commercial airline pilot takes me all over and introduces me to different types of people. I commute to work, which means I don’t live near the airport where my flights begin. When we were in VT, I had to travel from Burlington, VT (KBTV) to Washington D.C. (KIAD), so I could begin my flights to wherever it was I was flying that trip. These were around 1.5 hr flights. Now that we will be traveling around the world, my commute will look very different, and usually much longer, sometimes near 12-14 hr. What do we do during these flights, at the gate, or hanging around waiting?

Single Serving Friends

As you travel, or just out and about, you inevitably encounter different people. It may be at the gate, on a flight, in the hotel, or just random people you start talking to because you’re sharing the same space, and it seems more awkward than not to strike up a conversation (maybe that’s just me. I’m what my wife likes to call “outgoing”). These people may bore you to death. They may just help pass the time. Or, they may influence you in ways that carry on through the years. It’s really about putting yourself out there. The great thing is that no matter the end result of these conversations, once the interaction is over, it’s over. You can embarrass yourself, or come off like a Greek hero. Once that coffee is done, the flight is over, or you’ve reached the end of the line, your single serving friend is no more.

The “Unplanned Pivot” During Travel

My wife and I took a trip to Germany 13 years ago to visit her life long friend Natalie. We visited for a few days, and then took a tour around Garmisch-Partenkirchen. We planned to hit Vienna, but the weather was blah, so we made a last minute decision to head to Munich. Drove towards the Marienplatz, found a coffee shop, made hotel reservations (little did we know that it was Fruhlingsfest, or “Little Oktoberfest.” Hotel reservations right next to the Theresienwiese. Score!) and started to plan our 2 days in Munich. We decided to visit Dachau, the first German concentration camp.

Worldschooling

We made our way up to Dachau the next morning. Our time was spent focusing on the storyboards, seeing all the buildings, and attempting to absorb the gravity of the place. As we were preparing to leave, we were next to a family of four, the kids being about Edward’s age and the girls’ ages now. They were speaking English, so we made the small talk of how it’s difficult to come to terms with what happened there, and all the other concentration camps. Once the small talk was on, we asked if the kids were on break, or if they were home schooled. They told us about Worldschooling, and how they were traveling around to different countries for the year. The kids were excited to tell us about their adventures, where they had been, and what they had learned during their year abroad. Their enthusiasm was evident, and you could see a level of maturity in them that I’ve always assumed was from having to navigate places and people they had never met. I was impressed with these kids, and especially the parents. They didn’t talk for the kids. They didn’t tell us about their year abroad. They let the kids be front and center. The seed was planted.

Row Row Row Your Boat

I grew up a runner. Once I graduated high school, I stopped, and never got back into it. I did Crossfit for awhile, and really enjoyed the Concept2 rowing machine. I bought one, but used it sporadically through the years. COVID gave me the excuse to really get at it. It was a great way to stay in shape, and I could do it from the comfort of my own home. When COVID was winding down, I sat next to a man during my commute that had some Concept2 swag. (Concept2 started as a carbon fiber oar making company by two brothers, and is based in Morrisville, VT). I asked if he was a rower. Turned out he worked at Concept2. In fact, he started at 17 years old, and was one of the first employees, doing whatever was needed in those early years. Now in his late 50’s, he traveled worldwide to all the big rowing events in a mobile workshop to work on and adjust the oars the rowers were using. He was headed to Germany to pick up his travel rig, and wouldn’t be back for a few weeks. We had a great conversation, and as we parted, he asked for my address so he could send me some swag. Three weeks later, it showed up. I still wear the hats and shirts he sent me.

How Much Does a Life Cost?

My most recent encounter was a month ago. This person was traveling to DC to meet with groups that would help fund their Non-Profit. The conversation was about shared experiences in various parts of the world, what these places are like, and what makes the most impact for the people living in these areas. Turns out, they were looking to reach the 1 Billion dollar mark to combat food shortages. This person was hopeful, yet guarded that the money may not come. With donations, especially in Washington, they can change rapidly with the political tide. Depending on what the goals and needs are of the current administration, you can either be flush with cash, or scraping by. We talked about the money going to feed the starving, and I asked if there was a way to measure the impact it was making. The answer I basically got was, “I know we’re saving lives. A lot of them. But how do you put a value on any one of them?” Absolutely right. If it was my child, how much would I give up to feed them. To keep them alive? To give them a chance? This person is making a difference in so many lives. I always try to make an impact on people when I see them. It may not be with money, but since that day, I’ve tried just a little harder to give that extra smile, kind word, or small gesture.

Go Find Your Single Serving Friends

Now it’s your turn. When you’re out and about, traveling, standing in line to check out at the store. Say hi. Ask how someone is doing? If you notice something about them that you might have in common, strike up that conversation. I can honestly say that more often than not, I wish I would have said something to someone instead of letting the moment pass. I’m sure I’ve annoyed a few people, but I don’t remember those encounters. I remember the smiles. The shared experiences. The camaraderie. Like I said, it’s over pretty quickly. Go make a single serving friend. Embarrass yourself, or be the hero. Either way, you learn something from someone, or about yourself, and it could just change your life.

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